Below is a post we published on August 18, 2012.  Approximately 5 weeks after we started our blog, taking screenshots of the bullies abuse of other people, posting them our blog, and stating our opinions on it, the GR bullies had a major meltdown.  Our coverage of their meltdown made Kat Kennedy so mad, she tried to silence us by hypocritically reporting us for copyright infringement (we say hypocritically because if you look on her blog, it’s copyright infringement galore.)  After we removed the material from the original post (Keep Calm and Carry On) and left the excerpts from it for our analysis, she reported us again when we were perfectly within our rights under the terms of fair use.  Once again, this proves that like Looney, Kat can’t handle criticism.  She can dish it out, but she can’t take it.  This is the mark of the bullies – being able to dish abuse out in spades, but being unable to deal with criticism (and just criticism, not abuse.)  In fact, their reaction to our site was so extreme, a wave of mass hysteria swept over the bully community, causing them to turn on each other.  The GR Bully Meltdown I and II is our coverage of this event.

In part one of the GR Bully Meltdown, Peter Pan translates Adam Archer Pring’s Cuddleboogery blog post, Keep Calm and Carry On, in which he addresses the widespread panic and tells everyone in the bully community basically to “keep calm and carry on.”

We guarantee the following post (and the next one) will be thoroughly entertaining.

Enjoy!

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Well STGRB readers, we hope you’ve got your popcorn ready because this is what we have been waiting for – the GR bully meltdown.  It all started with a blog post published by Archer in which he addresses the current hysteria circling around the book community.

After he published his post, the explosions commenced.  So, we’re doing this in two parts.  The first part will be Peter Pan who picked apart Archer’s inane and self-contradictory post.  And the second, will be… well, you’ll see.  :D

So without further ado, here’s Peter:

 

“Blogs refusing to review indie books in the future, Cuddlebuggery included.”

Here is the irony in this statement. Irony 1: You aren’t keeping “carrying on” if you are no longer doing what you’ve done before. Irony 2: Does this include not “reviewing” indie books a la reviews that are about the author and not the book? If so, you’re doing indies a favor.

 

“WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THE WATER RECENTLY?”

You tell us. You put it there.

 

“We have readers/authors/bloggers going on crusades to ease their burning butthurt.”

Translation: We have readers/authors/bloggers setting the record straight when people tell lies. Who does that? I mean seriously. You aren’t allowed to do that. We have freedom of speech here, not you.

 

“We have readers/authors/bloggers running around with a mentality of “If you aren’t with me then you’re the enemy”.”

Translation: We have readers/authors/bloggers running around with the mentality of “If you tell lies, I’m going to out the truth so others can know what’s real.”

 

“We have authors refusing to use GR out of fear of being boycotted for one reason or another.”

Translation: We have readers/authors/bloggers refusing to use GRs because all of the fake reviews and fake ratings that make the site freaking useless. We have bullies refusing to use GR because GR might actually enforce their terms of service and they will actually have to READ the books they review and make the review about the BOOK.

 

“We have people crying foul of review styles that they don’t like and deem as bullying or hurtful.”

Translation: We have people crying foul of author reviews being posted in a book review section because, by definition, a book review is supposed to be about the book, and when they read book reviews that is what they want to see, not us shaming an author/reviewer/fan for a perceived wrong we’ve created by taking things people have said out of context or making things up entirely.

 

“No matter how you cut it… that’s a lot of crazy in the community.”

Translation: I’m going to call you all crazy, but this doesn’t apply to me, even though I’m one of the biggest ringleaders in the pack. I mean seriously. Can’t you tell I’m trying to save face and make Cuddlebuggery seem like a credible review site now that it’s no longer fashionable to attack people?

 

“People need to calm the fuck down. LIKE SERIOUSLY. All this bullshit needs to end.”

Translation: I’m so calm right now, I’m going to throw in a few curse words just to show you how fucking calm I am. DO I LOOK ANGRY TO YOU? Like seriously.

 

“People voicing their personal opinion, is being compared to bullying. I mean seriously, all of this over different opinions about fucking books.”

Translation: Remember when we told lies about authors and they defended themselves? That wasn’t voicing their opinion. That was bullying. Now this whole bullshit fucking shit of us being called bullies for voicing our opinions. Now THAT is just fucking crazy. All this over different opinions about fucking authors. Not that we were trying to fuck them. We were just giving honest opinions about their books, I mean, them as people who we have never met, based on something we’ve taken out of context and stuck in a blender.

 

“I think that most reviewers will realise that 99.9% per cent of the time they follow them [the goodreads guidelines] without even realising it when they write a review. And honestly, if you don’t, then maybe you shouldn’t be complaining… maybe you should be finding a new hobby… like playing games, watching movies… eating paste.”

Translation: I am going to go eat paste, because I like making fun of people who are crazy and mentally ill when I’m not cursing out teen girls. I’m going to play games and watch movies because I am condemning you for doing the very thing I do. I didn’t follow the Goodreads terms before because I didn’t have to, but I might now. I mean seriously, you know I’m lying through my teeth right now. Like seriously.

I want to take a break from dissecting this.

Like, seriously, I mean seriously, how many times can you seriously say seriously in a blog post? Oh, please, go back to judging the writing of others real quick. You are seriously better at judging writing than writing yourself. We should seriously take your serious opinions as fact as you seriously are seriously intelligent enough for us to take your word on things.

To answer my own question:

1)     I mean seriously.

2)     LIKE SERIOUSLY

3)     I mean seriously.

4)     Seriously . . . why the fuck are they even here.

5)     Seriously . . . log off and go for a walk.

6)     Seriously I can.

7)     Seriously, I don’t know these people and I don’t need anymore shit in my life.

“I do concede that that is a very subjective connotation and it is poorly worded.”

Translation: I am the master of words. Can’t you like seriously tell?

 

“But if you want to write a high quality review, might I suggest just one thing. Write it from your fucking heart and talk about the book. And I’m not saying this to be an asshole, or to be deliberately inflammatory I’m saying it because IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD.”

I don’t need to translate this. The irony of ARCHER saying this on CUDDLEBUGGERY is irony enough.

 

“Just because people don’t agree with you on a matter doesn’t mean that they are the enemy. It means that they have a different life experience and are seeing things differently to you. Guess what, that makes them human just like you. It doesn’t mean that they are bullying or victimising you, IT MEANS THEY ARE SEEING THINGS DIFFERENTLY TO YOU.”

Note: By people we mean other reviewers. Obviously authors do not fall under the definition of people.

 

“And as for people harping on and on about people (most commonly in this com­mu­nity authors) being bullied via different means be it GR, reviews, comments, tweets whatever… I’m sorry I’m calling bullshit on that too.”

Thank you for not harping on and on about it, Archer.

 

“1 – Some people can’t comprehend that others don’t fawn over and worship the same things that they do”

Translation: 1: Some people don’t think your feelings about an author are relevant to the book.

 

“ 2 – Some people need to grow a much thicker skin when it comes to their works.”

Translation: 2: Some people need to shut the hell up when people are making up lies about them and attacking them personally instead of posting an actual book review.

 

“And this makes me headdesk. Fucking hard. Harder than John Green’s now infamous excessive headdesk meme. I could break desks the amount I do this. Why? Because it is fundamentally fucking stupid! To a level that makes me lose faith in the intelligence of the community in general.”

Thank you again for not harping on and on about it.

 

“If people can’t handle the fact that no book is EVER going to be universally praised then seriously… why the fuck are they even here?”

Here’s a thought. Authors exist for reasons OTHER than making you happy, Archer. Most of them aren’t pissed about your opinion on their BOOK either. Does Cuddlebuggery STILL really not get that? They pretend they do, by admitting some reviews aren’t about the book (while excluding their own reviews from that judgment!) but they clearly think the PROBLEM is about ACTUAL book reviews.

 

“If people can’t grasp the fact that there are things that the vast majority of people now find patently offensive then seriously… log off and go for a walk, talk to people and pull yourself together.”

Like how the majority find the things you do and say patently offensive? Why are you still typing? Go take that walk you were talking about.

 

“I’m not going to review Indie authors who I don’t have a pre-existing relationship with. There is just too much risk of crazy recently.”

Translation: I now interrupt this post to talk more about how people other than myself are crazy, because that is not at all offensive.

You’re trying, Cuddlebuggery, but it’s hopeless. Until you realize what you did wrong and apologize to the authors you have wronged and delete your offensive content, NO ONE is going to take you seriously. After your most recent posts on your blog, twitter, and Goodreads, you have now alienated your fellow bullies as well as all the people you have bullied. You don’t have much left unless you start taking your own advice.

 

“Why are people not able to let things simmer down anymore? It’s been going on for far too long.”

To this, we agree.

 

“Everyone needs to take a step back and remember why we all started doing this in the first place. For the sheer joy of reading.”

Had us fooled.

 

JBG: Great analysis!  Thank you, Peter!

Okay, well, that’s it for part one.  Stay tuned for part two when the bullies go to war – wait for it – with each other.  :D

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